Scary stuff!

I don't usually blog about my adopted soldiers (found via http://soldiersangels.org/ ) but I have permission from Izzy to post about his recent Halloween adventures.

You see a few months back young Izzy (that's PV2 I. Franco to the rest of the world) asked if I could help him find a suitable halloween costume he could wear to his bases's event (he's stationed in Iraq so no chance to drop into "Costumes-R-Us"). I of course said "no problem" and then immediately contacted my guru of all things American (and evil mistress of the darkness and cookie hoarders) Vicki with a "I have no idea what to do - you guys do this holiday so seriously - HELP!"

She was her ever calming self (well actually no - she immediately found some pictures of some really REALLY horrific and *blush* naughty costumes and sent them to me with a perky "what do you think of this!")

...After I bleached my eyeballs back to normal we began again.  We worked throught a list of what Izzy's interest were (anime, Lord of the Rings, world of warcraft [he's a horde boy - see why I adore him? :D] and Star Wars) and narrowed it down to something demonic but still uber-guy looking.

We also wanted to make sure it was something he could get on & off easily and still carry his weaponry with (okay so I had the fleeting thought of him in a big pink bunny suit humping his rifle about but I resisted... I'm not that evil *gives sweet angelic look to the heckling gallery*).

Once we had a plan I forwarded gold across the seas (well via Paypal - less chance of unofficial pirates that way) and let Miss Vicki have at the various USA based vendors that would ship to her in California.

She found an excellent deal on a face mask; and a really nifty set of demon wings that extended & retracted with the wave of a claw (or maybe the pull of a string - the details elude me a bit). The chest piece was feared to be a bit on the small side for our manly hero so Vicki adjusted it all upon receipt.

And then she worried that he just wouldn't look scary enough so she obtained some really evil looking replica weapons (orcish stuff) and paid from her own pocket (somehow she's adopted my adoptee's and we all seem to be loving the dynamics)

Oh and in the mean time I sent Izzy the following picture and asked him what colour he wanted

(that bit where I said I wasn't evil?  Yeah - I lied ;D).

So as Izzy was being freaked out (but so politely - I'm sure he was worried he would hurt my feelings if he said "Hell no!") Miss Vicki was shipping off the finished outfit.

He won "Most Scary" :)

Kiwi's for the win!

This is amazing!  From the New Zealand Book Council


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_jyXJTlrH0&feature=player_embedded

Parroting on

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.


John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."


John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued...
"May I ask what the turkey did?"

One for my American friends...

For those of you who are looking forward to Pumpkin Pie over Thanksgiving

Tough Kitty

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Just add water...

Over the last 6+ months I've sent a number of really odd things off to my 3 adopted boys (adopted soldiers via Soldiers Angels - http://soldiersangels.org)

This is probably the strangest - and got one of the biggest laughs (it arrived about the same time as the wading pool I sent Martin & his Team)

So.. middle of the desert.. wading pool... what else do you need but >

The Definition of RAK

RAK (aar-aa-k). Noun. Adverb. Adjective.
The Act of unexpectedly doing something nice (RAK-Random Act of Kindness).
[Dictionary of Marion-ism's]

The Definition of RAK

RAK (aar-aa-k). Noun. Adverb. Adjective.
The Act of unexpectedly doing something nice (RAK-Random Act of Kindness).
[Dictionary of Marion-ism's]

Six Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all of your top teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, while reading the First Truth, will try it.

3. And they will discover that the First Truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're one of those idiots.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. And there will still be a stupid smile on your face while you're doing it.

I do not apologize about this and I do not feel sorry about sending it to you.

I'm an idiot too and I just needed company

Dear Tech Support...

(disclaimer.. I am still trialing B 5.0 and yes - it's been a 7 year trial so far - just wish I could find the bug-fix for his aversion to Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5)

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOTunder any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck!
Tech Support