June 26, 2010

A Question on Balance

Serious post tonight - a question aimed at my friends that have supported Troops abroad or *are* themselves military and been stationed abroad.

I try very hard to keep my communications with my adoptee's upbeat and happy - I figure they have enough dramas and worries of their own without me adding to it. But what happens when something goes wrong at home - something life shattering enough that will colour all I do and say?

Am I wrong in keeping it from people that I've developed a connection with - or should I just pretend everything is 5/5 and not add to their burdens? Do I make a brief mention and then gloss over the details - leave it all "stuff  is about to happen/has happened but I'm getting there" and go back to the quirky Pax-did-something-foolish tales?

What would you prefer if you were the one I was writing to - week in & week out - for months on end? Would you want to know?  Would you be angry & hurt if you found out from another source? Or is it just one thing too many to have to deal with?

I really don't know what to do

[and no - I can't give specifics here - it involves a family member and one of my siblings hasn't yet been advised]


  1. It all depends. As you may know, some folks care about others and some don't.
    I knew some soldiers in Iraq who worried more about other people than they worried about themselves.
    Others would complain that nobody ever sent them anything--- and I'd ask: "Have you e-mailed or sent letters to anybody you know back home to let them know where you are?"

    The usual answer was: "No"

    I' m sure this didn't answer your question

  2. Hi Pax

    When I had my 2 repeat 2 car accidents I wrote to them about it. I called my car my "Pony" and told them my "Pony" was going to need a major face lift and why makin certain that it was loaded with stuff that would make them laugh and while shakin their heads.
    Sometimes I would let them know when "Sh!t" happened and let them know that I wasn't askin for help but advisin that things were in the hand-bag and maybe heading for hell so a box or letter maybe missed. Afterwards, I always let them know that the crisis was passed and everythin was back on schedule.
    There were also times that I would simply say Life is not great right now but I still here.
    They were MY Warriors and once adopted became part of MY Family that was NOT living next door.

    So what I guess I tryin to say is you should give them a heads up if...
    you are goin to go missin for a while
    everythin is not as up-beat as usual. They are Warriors and Their Instincts will be tellin them that somethin is wrong
    They were adopted by you so they are YOUR Warriors. They are now a part of YOUR family that is NOT livin next door.

    Good Luck !!!!!!!

    Miss Em

  3. Those are some hard questions. It all depends. If it were me, I would want to know from you. But that's me. Life sometimes has hard things to deal with and most people are equipped to handle them. Good luck!

  4. You know your guys better than we do, and each one is different. I would menton it in passing and those who want to talk about it will, and those who don't, let it slide.