June 26, 2010

A Question on Balance

Serious post tonight - a question aimed at my friends that have supported Troops abroad or *are* themselves military and been stationed abroad.

I try very hard to keep my communications with my adoptee's upbeat and happy - I figure they have enough dramas and worries of their own without me adding to it. But what happens when something goes wrong at home - something life shattering enough that will colour all I do and say?

Am I wrong in keeping it from people that I've developed a connection with - or should I just pretend everything is 5/5 and not add to their burdens? Do I make a brief mention and then gloss over the details - leave it all "stuff  is about to happen/has happened but I'm getting there" and go back to the quirky Pax-did-something-foolish tales?

What would you prefer if you were the one I was writing to - week in & week out - for months on end? Would you want to know?  Would you be angry & hurt if you found out from another source? Or is it just one thing too many to have to deal with?

I really don't know what to do

[and no - I can't give specifics here - it involves a family member and one of my siblings hasn't yet been advised]

4 comments:

  1. It all depends. As you may know, some folks care about others and some don't.
    I knew some soldiers in Iraq who worried more about other people than they worried about themselves.
    Others would complain that nobody ever sent them anything--- and I'd ask: "Have you e-mailed or sent letters to anybody you know back home to let them know where you are?"

    The usual answer was: "No"

    I' m sure this didn't answer your question

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  2. Hi Pax

    When I had my 2 repeat 2 car accidents I wrote to them about it. I called my car my "Pony" and told them my "Pony" was going to need a major face lift and why makin certain that it was loaded with stuff that would make them laugh and while shakin their heads.
    Sometimes I would let them know when "Sh!t" happened and let them know that I wasn't askin for help but advisin that things were in the hand-bag and maybe heading for hell so a box or letter maybe missed. Afterwards, I always let them know that the crisis was passed and everythin was back on schedule.
    There were also times that I would simply say Life is not great right now but I still here.
    They were MY Warriors and once adopted became part of MY Family that was NOT living next door.

    So what I guess I tryin to say is you should give them a heads up if...
    you are goin to go missin for a while
    or
    everythin is not as up-beat as usual. They are Warriors and Their Instincts will be tellin them that somethin is wrong
    They were adopted by you so they are YOUR Warriors. They are now a part of YOUR family that is NOT livin next door.

    Good Luck !!!!!!!

    Miss Em

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  3. Those are some hard questions. It all depends. If it were me, I would want to know from you. But that's me. Life sometimes has hard things to deal with and most people are equipped to handle them. Good luck!

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  4. You know your guys better than we do, and each one is different. I would menton it in passing and those who want to talk about it will, and those who don't, let it slide.

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