January 30, 2010

Red Alert!

Meeep!!! - My Parental units are descending upon us tomorrow for a "quick visit".

They are both retired and doing the Grey Nomad thing (i.e. they go off in their camper van for months on end enjoying the solitude (?) of the bush and fossicking for gems & gold*).

I saw them last at Christmas and have since then offered to either a) visit or b) have them over, however their busy social lives / health / never being home on the same days as I am etc, means that tomorrow is the first & last time I'll be able to catch up with them for another 3 months.

So now I have to clean like crazy; find non-obvious hiding spots for any of the vaguely adult items in the house (actually this isn't the porn collection - this is any videos that might be vaguely controversial and any of my more risque romance titles) since Mum & Dad are conservatives of the highest order; and try to ensure that everything passes muster so I can avoid the whole pitiful mother stare of "whatdidIdowrongwithher". 

I do love them - but can we tell that I'm the wild child of the family? (not married, no children, no intention of curbing my lifestyle "defects", Oh and Living-in-sin** etc).  I guess at least I have a conservative job so that's okay.

*before anyone goes "ooh Pax will have access to riches one day" - they store all their finds in little glass conversational bottles to show visitors. And no - the conversation of "so who inherit these?" isn't allowed :(

**I have to point out that the phrase "Living-in-Sin" sounds far more decadent and luxurious that reality has it.  Am I doing it wrong? or maybe I should have tried it with a Sugar-Daddy? 8D


  1. Tearsure them,you will miss them when they are gone,no natter how much they "drive you batty" God Knows I sure miss mine.

  2. I still miss mine, but if they came to vist for more than a few hours, I'd go nuts.
    I'd suggest leaving out the "adult" items and prehaps find some porn to leave out...just for the fun of watching them.

  3. There again, you are nicer than me. When I was married to my first wife, mom and dad came over one Sunday for lunch. She said something about something, I don’t remember what, and I just smile at her and said, “Mom if it bothers you that much, you clean it up. If you don’t want to, remember this is my house and if you can abide by that don’t let the door knob hit you in the ass on the way out. I don’t go into your house and point out things. Don’t you do it here.” She sulked for a bit, but never gave me any shit about the house after that. They are both gone and I DON’T MISS THEM ON BIT.

    But you be nice to yours!

  4. Lol - I do love them, and as CI said anything more than a few hours and I go into a state of stress (my dad is easier to deal with than my mum - so long as I remember to laugh at ALL of his jokes)

    Visible Porn option (a-la-CI) - the finding it's not hard - B has an extensive collection [which I might add he won't allow me to watch with him these days - he seems to object to my commentary on "Gad - could she look any more uninterested?!"] but I'm not sure I could really deal with the whole Parental disapproval/cold silence/excessive glares. I've been too conditioned over life to avoid these at all costs.

  5. I lived in sin for ten short years. Thankfully, we both had parents that believed in minding their own business, and I guess they didn't think our business was their business. Yeah!

  6. Your mom and dad love you, and that is why they are visiting...Don't run, and they won't chase you!